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Grace is More Than Garb

June Faire is just around the corner. There will be many new people to meet and questions to answer.

For those of us who have been in the SCA three, five, ten, twenty years .......................

Do you remember when you FIRST joined the SCA? What were the people like? What drew you to them?

Case in point....

I was only in the SCA 6 months .... attended an indoor feast for Madrone. Loric and I did not know a soul. I did not even know how to act....

Don't you remember how intimidating and confusing all the titles and obviously long time members were??

A beautifully dressed man in a VERY shiny crown was coming toward the corner I was standing in..... he passed through the area and his eyes dropped on me .... I knew to bow gracefully and I said " Greetings , your Highness" ..... not knowing that it was improper to call the KING " Your Highness" .

He smiled warmly .... took my hand gently in his and kissed my knuckles .... " Good Day, m'lady .... are you having an enjoyable time?"

"Oh YES!" I replied.

His warm smile swept over me as he nodded farewell and his entourage floated on past. It was later on I learned, to my embarrassment, that he was "Your Majesty". HOWEVER ..... what REALLY moved me was that he was more interested in ME than he was in his "title" . That he was a GENTLE man and a gentleman.... that he was chivalric and overlooked my social error making my day very special.

So, our good King set an example to me for how to treat others. Let us remember that putting on our GARB is not necessarily putting on gracious behaviour..

We aspire to be a polite and chivalric society. It sets us apart for the rest of the rude, pushy and selfish modern world. Outsiders looking in can see a difference in the way we respect each other .... respect each others property.... the way we hold ourselves to a higher standard and LIVE the Dream.

Never forget that the fascination of the medieval ages is only a part of our warmth and mystic .... what did I hear over the last two years when I was Chatelaine????

It is our polite society .... our respect for one another..... how well 300 or 1700 of us could camp together in harmony. People WANT to find that in their lives.... they want to grow and learn and be welcome. They want THOSE kind of people for friends.

Be polite .... keep your voice SOFT and calm .... unless you are laughing or heralding of course!! Being a gentle man is a sign of strength .. because you are confident enough of yourself to be so. Someone who has something to prove to themselves is brash and ostentatious. In modern terms .... be Classy.

If someone DOES make an error introducing you to a new person .... focus on the NEW PERSON and how you can be kind and assist. If you feel the need, later on tell the person who called you " Master Poof" that you are really
" Lord Poof "... but thank you for the compliment. Many times it is not what we say ... but HOW we say it that matters.

We attract others because we are so different....we have a LOT of fun and LEARN ... and they want to be part of it.

* Speak respectfully and kindly.
* Praise in public ............... correct in private.
* The way you treat others reflects back on your own character... and others mark it well..
* Remember that everyone around us in the SCA is our equal or our better...
* Humility is "one size, fits all" and looks good on anyone who wears it.
* Be kind to the stranger .... he may be your brother some day.
* AND ... be truthful with everyone .... including yourself.

In joyful service,

HL Eileen


Copyright 2004 by Jan Cannon aka THL Eileen ingine dubh Luchag - posted to the Dragons Laire List Feb 2004. Posted 6/17/04

Permission is granted for republication in SCA-related publications, provided the author is credited and receives a copy. Contact the webminster for more information or additional permissions.

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